Our Story

Just a quick run through
of how it became me and you
Started with hello
and we could not let go

You’re like a thug at night
stealing what shouldn’t be
There goes our plight
you stole a part of me

Candies became like a rose
Words became like a toast
What’s normal became special
My heart suddenly peculiar

We clicked like summer rain
In each others arms we stayed
There were lots of pain
but we found different ways

Now we’re here again
less than lovers but more than friends
A cycle it has always been
A crazy but fun ride, it may seem

Just a quick run through
of how it became me and you
I’m sure I missed a lot
but I can only say much

This is the story
of how we came to be
Started with hello
and how we can’t let go

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He started making advances again
Because we are more than friends
I feel happy whenever he does
But no words forms in my mouth

I just want to look at him
Make him feel it but say nothing
For months I kept on talking
Make him feel the love I’m feeling

Now I felt like I’ve said what must be
With him I am always happy
Yet he could not tell me to stay
Nor does he want me to go away

Confused and entangled
With this love we’re not supposed to be in
I settle for his little shows of affection
Giving him a smile and saying nothing

My actions are enough for him to understand
That with him life is a wonderland
I want to hear the word he wants me to stay
So I’d know where I should place

Until then my silence will lead
This wrong but strong love deed
This silence is a cry of a woman tired
Whose heart after being pushed away, died

I love you but I can’t formulate the words
So I’ll just show you cause words can hurt
If I ask, you’ll be confused and you won’t know what to say
So I’ll keep silent and be contented until the time you can finally say, “stay”

Confused

Not feeling any pain

Confused once again
Why do you linger in my mind?
Why am I longing for your time?

I don’t cry like I used to
I don’t think I still love you

Do I miss our memories
or am I in denial?
Do I miss the feeling of bliss
or is this a trial?

If I still love you
Why do I want to say no?
If I don’t love you
Why don’t I want you to let me go?

Is this defense because you pushed me away
Or it’s only my mind who wants to stay?
Is my heart finally done and over you
Or is it protecting itself from feeling blue?

Haven’t shed a tear since days ago
but why do I miss you so?
I don’t feel any pain– none at all
Yet why am I hoping for a call?

Excerpt in a bottle #1

“I never understood why people let the ones they love go. I always thought that if you love someone, you should be willing to fight, but no one ever explained that you let them go not because you want to, but because you’re tired from fighting. It’s because you’ve given your all but it wasn’t enough and you’ve used up all your energy fighting for someone who doesn’t want you in their life—temporarily or not.” She looked down, sighed and faced him once again placing his hand atop his. “And that’s why I’m letting you go.” He gripped her hand and knew he’s torn, but she knew it was over— he didn’t have to say anything. Oh, how she wanted him to pull her unto his arms and tell her not to stop, but she was done wishing. He wasn’t caging her; she was caging herself with his shadow. She looked deep unto his eyes and smiled. “I’ll be okay.” And she knew she will be. She stood up and smiled, “You will be too. Always take care of yourself.” And then she left without looking back, but this time, her eyes are dry and her heart intact. She still loves him, but she now loves herself more.

Random Thoughts #2- Letting go and Moving on

 

They say it takes one to forget one– well I say otherwise.
Sometimes, it’s best to keep on seeing that person and get hurt, until you bleed no more.
Sometimes, it’s easier to let go once you’re tired from crying, sore from bleeding and numb from feeling.

Because when you’re tired from wishing,expecting and praying for the impossible to happen, it’s easier to accept reality. Your once clouded mind suddenly clears up, and you get to realize a lot of things.

Yes, a part of you is still wanting to be with him, but at least you’re no longer holding on to what might never be.
You’re hurting less, because you’ve finally learned to accept, let go and move on. You don’t just move on without letting go of your constant yearning to be with him; you have to accept your fate then let go.

Wish until you wish no more. Dream until you dream no more and cry until you cry no more. 

Letting go is a process and doesn’t happen overnight.
You’ll be shedding a lot of tears and will bombard God with countless questions asking why you have go through it.
Your days will feel longer; your nights shorter.
But if you succumb to pain, you’ll slowly get tired of being hurt.
You’ll slowly get tired of being treated less than your worth.
You’ll slowly get tired of wishing and wanting.
Then you’ll slowly love yourself more than you did then.

Cliche as it may be, there’s always sunshine after the rain and you cannot have a rainbow without a little bit of it.

It’s the same as moving on.
You don’t move on and not get hurt in the process of doing so.
Succumb to pain; cry your heart out, accept, let go and finally move on.

Do not let go if you can’t; let go once you can.
Do not illusion yourself and say you’ve finally moved on even when seeing him is killing you.

There’s always a process that you have to go through in order to be better.
If he’s yours, he’s yours.

Let go and move on.

You may not understand why you have to go through this, but in time, you will. Be happy with the memories that you both shared and use your experience to better yourself for your soon to be prince. He might be somewhere out there, probably got caught up from a tree branch or something, but he’s there.
Be better for him.
Smile for him…and love yourself while waiting for him.

Because once you’ve learned to love yourself, they’ll learn to love you too.

P.S Thank You

When I needed someone to talk to,

you were there.
When I was in the verge of crying,
you showed me you care.
When I needed a hand to hold on to,
you gave me yours.
When I felt like giving up,
you said I can soar.

No words could measure
how thankful I am that I have you.
Maybe not officially, but still I do
because even if you don’t,
I do love you
And I’m going to say that again and again
even when I know sometime soon
this has to end.

Don’t go just yet; please stay.
For a while, let’s do it my way.

Let me enjoy what we have now
and make me remember this somehow.
All these cherished memories,
showered bliss.

A short lived romance;
A one time chance

Now let me say it once again
with no rules to follow and bend

My love, I love you

P.S Thank You

Falling in Love

Falling in love with someone you can’t have is one of the most painful emotion in the world.
Just like the moon whose love is for the sun;
a secret between the stars and the sky;
a love that can never be.

It’s like a dagger where loving him is killing you, but if being with him is the only way to you get to be together, then you openly allow the cut to get deeper.

You want him so bad, but couldn’t say the words.
Not because you don’t want to, but because you know saying it is useless.

A short lived romance is what you both have.
A trick life played on you very well.
You know there will never be a you and him, yet despite how many times you get hurt or make yourself believe that you’re moving on, a part of you is holding to what could be….

The moment you think you’re fine, pain engulfs you again and once more you feel lost. One step forward to moving on, then you take two steps back with just a simple smile.

You love him so bad that you’re holding on to something impossible.

You’ve fallen for a ghost.
He’s there, within your reach, but you could not touch.
He’s there for you to love, but could not.

A ghost of what you once had, but can never be.
So here you are, emptying your thoughts with your heart breaking, your soul crying, your face passive and cool, but all you want to do is run unto his arms and ask for him to stay.

The man you love who has another;
The ghost with whom there’s no forever.

Slowly

“I’m slowly moving on, but you will never know.You’ll see me smile, you’ll see me laugh, but you’ll never see the pain I have inside.I’m going to kill myself with the thoughts of you; with the sweet gestures you make; with the memories we have until I bleed no more. I’m slowly going to kill what I feel and leave you behind until I’m ready to close the door. Pain will engulf me and I will welcome it with open arms. Sadness will surround me, but I will fake a smile.”

Secrets

Because today is another rare day~

Secrets

They have no clue
that at times it’s you
who starts the game
we play for the day

A quick kiss
sweet and swift
I’ll be surprised
you’ll grin like a child

To match yours
I look at the clock
kiss you back
and secretly smile

Other things
no one but us knows
Hiding my wings
as our story goes

Many other secrets
keeping to ourselves
Just you and I
and our secret time

Blue Christmas

***This is for same friend I dedicate the poem, “Adios Mi Amore.” I do hope she’ll be over it soon. 

The snow is falling
my heart is breaking
People are cuddling
mine is crying

I remember the days
our love did not faze
Until the day I said goodbye
and I saw you fly

I thought I was okay
didn’t even ask you to stay
I left your heart at bay
celebrated your own Christmas day

The snow is falling
you have someone new
Now I’m crying
whispering, “I still love you”

Batman: A Love Untold

Batman drove through the city never meant to fall

But I was too pretty to resist– of that, I can recall
I have a story to tell, one of the many times he fell
No books could share this story, so listen well

One night Batman stole my heart
Didn’t look back and kept it within
Since then we could not part
Despite a love that’s forbidden

The dark knight fell for me
Liking me despite the heresy
In his batmobile we ride
Forgetting the rules we had to abide

There were tears but mostly laughter
A comfortable silence when we’re together
It started with a hug then a kiss
Which lead to days and months of bliss

He had to slay monsters along the way
We went through storms, our hearts at bay
Bruised, wounded, tired and beat
We both thought we’re done and over with

Like a hero that shouldn’t fall for a mortal
A relationship that’s both happy and brutal
We don’t know how many more jokers there is
We’ll fight them and end each day with a kiss

Chapter after chapter we’re still here
Getting nearer to the end we fear
Sometime soon both of us will have to be firm
But for now, let’s kill each monster without a squirm

What you’ve read is our story that wasn’t known
Years later, I have come to share it all
Batman never returned the heart he stole
He’s there somewhere, who knows?

An untold tale of a mortal falling in love
To a hero that she should not have
Batman drove through the city not seeing her
But she smiled for she once fell in love with a dark wanderer

Adios Mi Amore

***A poem for my friend whose heart is currently in pain.

Adios mi amore

You have someone new
My heart is sore
From crying over you

Million sad songs
Won’t help me through
I let you go
Now you have someone new

Can I have you back?
I want you back
Alas! Mi amore
You no longer want to

I’ll love you from afar
And cry in the dark
Adios mi amore
My love is with you forevermore

Win Me Back

Win me back, please

I want to stop all this
It’s hard cause he completes me
He makes me really happy

But I don’t want to be number two
Even when I pretend I do
I settle for it because I’m happy with him
Even when he’d be gone in a whim

Baby your woman is still here
Please come back to me
Baby I’m hurting
He’s everything I like and feared

Wrap me in your arms again
Tell me I’m still your girlfriend
He’s hurting me being his number two
But I love the two of you

Save me cause I can’t save myself
Win me back cause I’m drowning
It feels like I’m held on by a kelp
Win me back cause I’m suffocating